Memoirs
by FreudTastic
Summary: Orihime Inoue reflects upon the moment where she saw Ulquiorra Schiffer disappear right in front of her eyes. Does she feel safe of his death... or does the regret it? UlquiHime with slight IchiHime in the beginning. REQUESTED FIC.


**Requested Fic from Matt Hawk, one of my friends. ^^

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I sighed as I gently brushed my hair out of my face, just watching up towards the empty night skies as I could not stop thinking about _him_. The one who had brushed away my fears and replaced them with certainty and… pity. Pity because he had never had felt any human emotions, or understood the meaning of the heart. I pitied him… and I loved him with all my heart.

"Ulquiorra…" I slowly whispered to myself, as I saw a swarm of bats fly up in the night, towards the moon. This made my chest heave slightly in discomfort, but I slowly ignored the pain, and turned to my room door, as it rustled slightly before opening. It was Kurosaki-Kun. He had been worried about me lately, and cared for me so much, that there were no boundaries. Though… he did not understand the cause of my pain.

"Inoue-San…" he whispered softly as he embraced me, kissing my neck with gentleness and care. I quivered slightly at the smoothness of his lips, and the gentle touch of his hands, but I doubted it would comfort me. "Are you ok? You've been down lately… and I've worried about that you're depressed or somethi-" I interrupted him by pressing my index finger against his lips softly, managing to make my lips move up into a smile, though on the inside, I felt to do anything but smile.

"I'm fine, Kurosaki-Kun. Don't worry about me. I am fine." My voice was false and masked with a cheerful tone, as usual. Kurosaki-Kun did not see through my disguise… nor did he understand the pain I was hiding. If I were to tell him, I don't know how he would react. Probably disappointed because I felt pity and love for one of his enemies. "Kurosaki-Kun…" I asked slowly, and he turned his head to me instantly.

"Yeah, Inoue-San?" he asked, letting his fingers slip through my crimson hair. "What is it, Inoue-San?" I sighed, content of having to keep this secret inside me. But… I had to. Kurosaki-Kun would not forgive me if I told him straight out that I felt something for Ulquiorra. But it was something that had… shaken me while I was Aizen-Sama's captive. He was cold-hearted and emotionless, true. But he was also… caring for me. Even if he showed it in a cruel way, like the time he threatened to force food down my throat or give me IVs while being strapped down… he did care for me. I could not figure it out then… and now, it was too late. I sighed again, before speaking to Kurosaki-Kun.

"What would you tell me… if I said I missed someone?"

Kurosaki-Kun had that puzzled expression on his face again. I never knew if he was mad at me, or if he just was confused when he had that face, and I probably never will know. But then, he just smiled at me, softly petting my cheek. I blushed lightly as I felt his warm hands on my cold cheek. It was almost like it was… scorching me with hidden fury and anger, but his face remained ever so calm. "I would say that I feel sorry for you. Inoue-San, we all miss persons. Some of 'em maybe are far away, or have… passed on. But, we must learn to move on with life as it is, and don't try and turn back to the past. Ok, Inoue-San?" I sighed again. That was the only advice Kurosaki-Kun had given me these days. It was as if he _knew_ about my affection to his enemy. I just nodded slowly, my hair flopping down over my already shameful face.

"I-I understand, Kurosaki-Kun…" I sighed, as he nodded, turned away, and went out of my room with his usual 'Tell me if you need something, Inoue-San', and closed the door. I turned back to the night skies, and kept looking up at them as I remembered… the last moment I saw him.

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_He was… withering away. Right in front of me, Kurosaki-Kun and Ishida-Kun… he withered into ashes. I could not believe it! My heart raced as my beats skipped up more and more, watching more and more of his demon-like body wither away and rot. He looked at me, one more time, with his normal eyes. Not the eyes of the demon I had seen… all green and yellow… but his normal, white and green eyes. He seemed like he was filled with… regret, almost. I pitied him, and I wanted to help him. But I knew I could do naught to help him now. He opened his lips, speaking even though he was about to die._

"_Right as I was finally getting interested in you people…" I gasped, my breath stuttering after all that had happened; Kurosaki-Kun turning into a Hollow… how he brutally killed Ulquiorra… when he was near killing Ishida-Kun… and how Ulquiorra… saved him? Could it be? That he saved… Kurosaki-Kun? Or did he save us? Or… just me? Did he really save me from a certain death at the hands of Kurosaki-Kun? I could not tell… and right then, I was not sure if I would ever be able to tell his true intentions. But now… it was all just too much. My sweat ran down my forehead, and I was so scared, a few tears had finally begun to drop out of my eyes. Why did this all happen? Why did Kurosaki-Kun go this far just to save me? Why did Ulquiorra want to die at Kurosaki-Kun's hand? Why? Finally, I saw Ulquiorra raise his hand against me, and I stammered slightly._

"_I-I…" was all I could get out, for my throat felt as dry as the Hueco Mundo Deserts themselves._

"_What is this "heart"?" I heard him say, weakly, as if his throat as well was dry. But I knew, he was fading away, and did not have much time. But those words… reminded me of the first time he asked this to me. I had been afraid then… afraid that he was going to kill me. But now… I did not fear him. His words rang in my head, echoing forever in my conscience; "Could I see it if I tore open your chest? Could I see it if I cracked open your skull?" those words… have frightened me… but also changed me. It was as if he taught me… that some things can't be trusted by the heart. But I never understood it, and will probably never do. He looked straight at me, and asked;_

"_Do I scare you… woman?" he moved his hand towards me, as if he wanted to touch me… to hold me. I could not do anything else, than stand there and watch him move closer to me, his hand moving closer and closer towards my body. But I stood firmly, and my world went deaf on my ears. I could not hear Kurosaki-Kun's crying… not Ishida-Kun's screams for me to move away… nothing. All I heard, and saw, was his hand reaching for me. Finally, I spoke;_

"_I'm not afraid." Was all I said, and I looked him softly into his eyes, and said it again, as if to assure him; "I am not… afraid." His eyes had a glimpse of understanding in them, but it all faded into emptiness, as he replied;_

"_I see…" with this, his hand suddenly withdrew from me, and I knew he had no more time in this world. I gasped, hearing my world return around me, and I saw it all once again. I saw Kurosaki-Kun… Ishida-Kun… I saw him. In front of me, as his body turned to ashes and dust, scattering in the winds that blew through the desert plains, never to return or reform. I gasped again, as I desperately reached for him. I… I did not want him to leave! I wanted him to stay! I don't know why I felt like this, but I wanted him to stay! I grasped for his hand, desperately trying to hold him and reassure him it would be ok… but as soon as my fingertips touched his… they scattered into ash, and so did his entire arm. I still reached for him, wanting him to come back, but he kept disappearing in front of me, and I could do… nothing. Suddenly, I heard a faint voice. One that was similar to his, or at least I thought so. I think I could hear… his last thoughts._

"_Now I see… her heart was… right in my hands."_

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I sighed as I now knew… I would never see him again. The one who had brought me so much change and wonder… the one who had scared me to death… but also protected and cared for me… and the one… who in the end… finally understood what it meant to have… a heart.

"Ulquiorra… I… I love you."


End file.
